The First Day of The Rest of My Life

What do you want to be when you grow up?

It is funny to be asked that by a 13 year old kid when I am sitting next to the camp fire at 22, expected to be the role model with the successful future ahead. I look to my travel sister who is a devoted hippie, so present in this moment, and so not interested in being a fire fighter, I wonder what she might answer. She says she wants to be a dancer. I think back to wonder how many kids have been shot down with that as an answer because it is “too late.” Too late for what I wonder, to be a ballerina? to be paid to dance, to be a famous success? Well, what do I want to be when I grow up? Young. Haha. But I want to be a writer. I want to practice the art of communication and relation through words that express myself, my triumph, my struggles, and hopefully create solace in other people through that. How do I do that? Practice. I found myself at a party last night discussing green ketchup with a stranger. What else do we relate on if we cant have random discussions about corn syrup and how taste is changed by sight, while playing a really small harmonica which is conveniently located in the host’s junk tray (not drawer, which is so much more convenient for play). I lied and told her my blog was greenbeanketchup.blog.com. It was so convenient because we were talking about ketchup. So I created one today because I really don’t like lying. We will see where this goes. This might be the only blog I post, or this might be the first blog of the rest of my life. Either way, I am no longer a lyer, and I created a random-ass-name for a random-ass-blog.

i might write about my dirty clothes, big bike rides, crushes, new adventures, or struggles. I have been finding it hard to talk and write about struggles. I find that I just write, “I am struggling” and then move on. Rarely taking the time anymore to examine the truth behind the struggle. I think that is because I haven’t been writing. When I take time to recreate the internal externally, I have to come up with different ways to describe it and that creates a new perspective. It is a nice way for me to step outside of myself.